[CH] (LONG - some CH content) Rael's Night in Hell (actually, there

Inagaddadavida (rael64@earthlink.net)
Thu, 15 Jan 1998 01:15:50 -0600 

Weeell, here's how the weekend went, more or less...and 'fore I forget, a
big Gracias to all who sent me ideas.  I still plan on sneaking them in
sometime/somehow/someway.  Rael will prevail...

Anywho, Chef was gone Fri-Tues...have a
neurotic/paranoid/sold-his-soul-to-the-service-of-the-rich manager
(meaning, They Get Anything, Period)...and the week had been slow; damn
slow.  20-ish covers every night.  By 4pm Fri, had reservations for abt.
60.  No problemo.  Prepared shrimp for barbecued shrimp.  Made r.beans&rice
for the staff (and brought most of them to tears...one lass, bless her
soul, added Tabasco before I could stop her and offer my "special mix" of
dried chiles...and ask her to marry me; she declined...sniff..)...this was
to get me in da mood...but it brought attention of the aforementioned
manager who was wise to my chileheadedness.  Had to explain all my specials
to him.  Black pepper makes him sweat :(

The shrimp was okay.  Sold decently until..., but I'm getting ahead of
myself.  Had made some coconut-rice (adapted from one idea from Lukaz...had
already made coconut-encrusted sea bass the week before..) and was planning
on grilled tuna with a simple habanero-pineapple salsa.  He nixed that.
Used a lingonberry vinaigrette instead and made some plain white rice.
Coconut rice woulda been too strange, even for me (it happens..).  Had to
run some beef/steaks since we had them and opted for a "side salsa" which
was a red onion salsa; not too hot but good.  It was "permissible".  Mind
you I *have* educated the servers to inform all members/guests that most
any steak/fish can be ordered blackened.  Serve a number of items that way,
happy, happy, joy, joy...

So, the night began.  Nota lota hot stuff, but it would do.  Then They
Came.  All at once.  We have idiots who make the reservations...like, all
of them at the same time, all between 7-8pm pretty much.  Mad rush.  They
aren't ordering the "usuals", they're going for the double-cut lamb chops,
the stuffed veal chop, the stuff we sell one/week...and I have 4 of and
can't cut more on the fly (we run a 2 man line...seat over 200...I know, I
know...but I ain't the boss...).  Chaos ensues.  Jimi is flying through my
mind, but I chase him away and opt for Siouxsie Sioux and the Banshees.
She grants me my wish and dances naked in the flames shooting up from my
stove.  It's cool, it's groovy, I'm maintaining, I'm like, really
sweaty...and then the request comes in for the Chicken Surprise Lady.
She's an old lady.  Wants a "new" chicken dish every Fri. night.  I forgot
about her.  I made some "quick" garlic chicken.  Goes nice w/the coconut
rice, I thought.  Plate it, out it goes.  Slip-sliding, flingin' pans, Al,
my grill/broiler/setup man is doing DAMN well and I haven't whipped about
and seared him with a pan yet.  We're wadin' through the weeds and there
could just be light ahead, some dry land, a wee bit o' time for me to
scratch my arse and suck down some cold coffee.

But no...Mr. Manager informs/interrupts me saying Chickie Surprise Lady
ain't thrilled with her chickie.  Bland, sez he sez she.  He wants to
discuss this with me, like, now.  Converse with me...with 15 tickets on the
rail, pans on the stove, and veggies in the steamer.  "Could you make a
sauce for it?....hmm?"

This is so ironic, folks.  You just don't know.  I wrote a story back in 92
about me flipping out on the cook line when a server kept interrupting the
flow of things, disturbing my rhythm.  Here it is, happening for real,
details different, but end result essentially the same:  Rael did flip out.
 Ranted, raved, said the old bi*ch could give me some guidelines as to her
preferences...the management could learn to say NO...people could leave me
alone to cook..and could everyone just SHUT UP SO I CAN HEAR SIOUXSIE
SINGIN' IN MY HEAD!!??  Servers slunk (slunk? hmm..) outta the kitchen, Mr.
Manager sorta cocked his head, the turned and zoomed off/out, expediter had
his eyes closed (first night to ever expedite...he's the F&B man...poor
guy..), and Al was dodging the white-hot-gonna-sear-some-tuna (we do a
seared tuna w/pickled ginger/wasabi which sells decently and leads me to
believe there's some chilehead members out there somewhere...) saute pan I
had in my hand and was "speaking" with.

Needless to say, the night went downhill from there.  86'd (def: ain't no
more of XXX; ran out of it..) 2/3ds of the menus.  Gone, gone, gone.  The
food, my rhythm.  Breath control wasn't helping, and Siouxsie had
vamooooosed outta my head as well.  Had plenty of shrimp though.  Plenty of
red onion salsa.  Wished I had made that pineapple salsa anyhow and coulda
given the Chickie Surprise lady a helluva surprise (I'm kidding...jeez..).

Just wasn't a good night at all.  Bummed out for Sat. since I had to cut
meat/fish/prep all day and put in another 15-ish hours, and work on stuff
for Sun. brunch.  Slept Monday.  Had 6 reservations for Tues. night (waste
of time, IMO).  Chef's back (that's good...he can deal w/Mr. Paranoid
Manager) and the blonde angel who works in the admin. office and actually
conversed with Monk Rael *and* seemingly was as weird as I...got fed up
w/the place (Mr. Manager and Da Board) and quit tonight.  She stopped in
the kitchen to say so-long to me.  Al asked me why I was beating my head
against the convection oven...

Rael be depressed.  Taking 4 days off starting sat. and runnin' down to MS
to sleep on momma's couch, see if that redhead still pours java at the
coffeehouse, and visit w/relatives...assuming they can get outta Buffalo NY.

Maybe next week...and I'll make that pineapple salsa, by damn...

Peace, Hendrix, and Chiles.......

Rael
rael64@earthlink.net
Redneck Sous Chef
Monk of the TCS
Order of Immaculate Twister
Keeper of the Faith
and a Towel...