[CH] 2 wonderful days in the life of a Memphis Ch'er
Ron M (swamp@netten.net)
Fri, 06 Feb 1998 23:10:51 -0600
--
Ron Marsh
What can I say, my dehydrator runneth over!
This 2 day Hab adventure started with a spur of the moment trip to my
local health food store for a sandwich. The deli is slow as hell, and
even though I had called ahead, the gen-x\stoner behind the counter was
just forming the mental picture of what bread looked like when I walked
up to the counter to get my dinner. Bummed out and hacked off, I decided
to wander around a little while Kurt Cobaine's re-incarnation whupped up
my food.
I don't usually browse the fresh vegis, but I did that day, and the high
holy Chili God must have been smiling on me that day. I wandered over to
where they usually keep their motley collection of fresh peppers, and
what did I see but little pumpkin-like orbs of bliss. they were nestled
in a small wooden crate, sitting on a bed of excelsior. After my shock
wore off, I grabbed a plastic bag and put a couple of good hand fulls
in. Let me tell you, they were pretty!nice, firm, glistening, with just
a hint of a fruity aroma.
I've been a devoted, and faithful reader since rejoining the list this
summer, and one of the ideas that has sparked curiosity is the idea that
a couple of habs will enhance your mental performance, esp. in regards
to academic exams. well, just the day before, I had bought some
whole-pickled habs to eat before my 1st exam of 2nd semester Prin. of
Chem.. I felt delivered, for now I had in hand the real deal.
I picked up my sandwich and scurried up to the register, curious just
how much they were going to cost(no price being listed). This
rasta-wannabe didn't know either, so he just took a guess and said
"let's see, the jalapenos are 1.99/lb, I guess these are around
1.59/lb". Me, standing there, grinning like a fool, whipping my head up
and down in agreement, felt the the way people on the beach in Florida
must feel when they find a brick of coke washed up on the shore.
At home, I told my SO about this theory I had heard and my plans to put
it to the test. A look came across her face that I haven't seen since I
quit drinking about 4 years ago. The look meant "what kind of fool did
I marry?"( though I don't think she wondered if she had hid the car keys
this time) disregarding her obvious scepticism, I chomped down on one,
though to the side to avoid the seeds( Grandmama didn't raise no fool!).
Well you all know what happened next, the great flavor, the build of
heat, and then, bliss! This was the 1st time I had eaten a fresh,
succulent hab, practically right off the vine. It had the same essense
that the druggies are always seeking; pure, un-adulterated mind
alteration. My body was singing! Waves of ecstasy washed over me.
Gathering my wits, and remembering the exam, I went to the restroom
real quick, and was gathering my books when a another sensation started
to occur. Oh no! not hunan hand! Yep bigger than life, there it was.
Dancing out the door to the truck, I was sure I was doomed. Luckily it
subsided by the time I got to school. I thought the exam was pretty
thorough, and a little tricky, but things just snapped into place when I
applied a little systematic logic to it. I was one of the 1st ones
through. While we were milling around waiting for the others to finish,
I heard comments like " that was the hardest exam I HAVE EVER taken!"
While I haven't gotten the score back yet, I'm pretty confident of being
in the 90's, so I'm a believer in the theory.
Returning two days later to the health food store, I had little hope of
finding them still there, but they were! Some were getting
not-so-pleasant spots on them, but about half of them were still very
pretty. I stood there for about 20 mins and picked all of the better
ones I could find.
So here I sit, telling my friends about my adventure, while 12 of the
best of the best sit in my freezer, and the rest sit in a dehydrator( a
ronco, can you believe it!) I plan to make some powder in about 36 hrs.
I can't wait!
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), "The Devil's Dictionary", 1911:
UNIVERSALIST, n. One who forgoes the advantage of a Hell for
persons of another faith.