InterGalaticNonsense [i'm bored][WAS: Re: [CH] RE:
OblioThePointedChileHead (rael@ebicom.net)
Sat, 12 Dec 1998 17:55:03 -0600
i was born in a chile field. raised by chile farmers. was eating chiles
by the time i was, well, shortly after birth, although not actually eating
them. mom says she rubbed the interior flesh of freshly cut jalapeņos on
her nipples all the while i was nursing so as I would get the wonderful
benefits of chiles into my system at a very young age. that may not be
completely true though as i found out later that my mother was a masochist
by nature and poppa was just a bit too good natured for her sexual desires,
so while the method did indeed get me to ingest capsiacin at an early, and
proper, age, it wasn't a common method for my people...at least not that i
know of. but i digress.
point is, in my land, where the chile fields stretched for miles and miles,
where chiles were a way of life, the reason for life, symbolic of El Grande
and Enlightenment, and indeed, it seems the reason our planet,
BlueHabanero, exists, well, habanero ain't got no tilde. well, actually,
the language is completely different from spanish, so obviously there's no
tilde. in fact, my native language would be sort of a mix of sounds one
makes when exhaling and that of humming; yet not quite anything like humans
have ever heard. now that i think of it, most communication between my
people is done telepathically - sex being the exception, although the
sounds involved during sex between my people are fairly akin to that of
human screams and a tenor singing opera [i'm thinking Young
Frankensteinish, yeah]; the biting, which typically is what brings forth
the rare audible blathering of my kind, well, that's not too common for
your species. well, the biting isn't common to sexual interactions that
is, well, not for most bipedal creatures, but i digress. it would be
pretty alien to humans anyway, our language, a facsimile of it, best i
could muster. oh, alien. ha. i made a joke.
but there's no tildes, regardless. habanero.
actually, i'm just guessing. the language is unwritten too. no one has
ever thought about it i suppose. writing. tildes. not biting. strange.
i miss my home planet. i miss looking out of our house, well, in human
eyes it would probably look somewhat cave-like, or maybe like an igloo.
yeah. but with amenities you wouldn't believe, well, obviously. anyway, i
miss looking out our domicile and seeing miles and miles of chiles before
my eyes. i miss waking up early on easter morning to search for easter
chiles. well, we don't celebrate easter. no one knows when El Grande came
into existence, but we have many celebrations throughout the year, well, we
don't measure time in years, don't measure time at all really, no point,
but regardless, we have celebrations and for one of them we search for
chiles. of course, we're surrounded by chiles so the game is sort of
stupid if not boring, but when one is young and still sort of mushy in the
brain, you're amused easily.
i miss my friend, TitebuttokChx, too. she was my mentor in All Things
Chile. i cannot divulge all she taught me since it's forbidden, not to
mention pretty incomprehensible for humans, or at least most of it,
although i think the flogging bits and chanting are fairly similar to,
well, flogging and chanting here on earth, but i cannot say any more. i
may be willing to share some of the knowledge with young females who are
looking to come closer to El Grande, who are looking for Enlightenment. it
would be nice if they would pay my rent too. a fair trade, i believe.
such a nubile should also have no aversion towards hair, fine foods,
leather, jell-o [TM!], and be ready to spend many years in deep meditation
and learning. she should like hendrix too. hendrix. he makes the longing
for my home planet bearable. the loneliness for my parents, my
mentor/friend, my dog. well, it wasn't really a dog. nothing a human
would recognize. run like hell from, screaming bloody murder, probably,
not that a human could out run a full grown...oh, never mind...
be humble, be forgiving, and be devoted to El Grande and All Things Chile.
one day you too may visit my planet, BlueHabanero.
In Chiles We Trust and Praise Be El Grande
Oblio