[CH] A great new all purpose condiment
Deb deForest (deforest@selec.net)
Mon, 10 Apr 2000 12:51:25 -0500
Hurley, while I always do snippage to the prior messages to which I am
replying because I want to stay in favor with the list police, Mike, and
especially Saint Jim the First so I can one day taste his THE Bread again
(insert the Sir Doctor Professor Chile Knight's favorite disclaimer here),
with mega apologies and a mea culpa to all, I've left your message intact
below. This is a wonderful recipe! I have some suggested variations. Try
adding one or more of the following:
Cilantro (it doesn't taste like soap to me!)
Woodchuck or 'possum (cat is NOT an acceptable substitution)
Green Bell Peppers (be sure to get the ones that have had no GM)
Vidalias and jicamas
Scrambled eggs (for garnish)
IMPORTANT: Keep refrigerated at all times to avoid botulism.
Note: Knuckle Draggers might want to add one extra large Peter Pepper to
the mix but be sure to insert this gently (at first) using a rhythmic in and
out motion until the seeds are released from the hottest parts, the
membranes, and a misty sweat forms under your eyes (this might take a very
long time in some households so for best results, plan to begin the day
before). Wearing gloves may be a good idea, too. While some may have
suggested it, yellow ribbons and headlights turned on during the daytime
have seemed ineffective to me but that is just my off topic two cents.
I'd also like to comment that the leftovers might be used to treat TMV when
mixed thoroughly with manure and Miracle Gro as long as you check the ph
with a properly calibrated meter first (and don't forget to double check the
calculations for application rate with your slide rule. I personally still
don't trust my computer's calculator ever since I got the virus that was
sent to the list attached to the picture of the missing child with
cancer...your mileage may vary, especially if you use a Mac).
Thank you again for the recipe even though you have not actually tried it
yourself, Hurley.
Deb in Houston
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Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2000 13:13:49 -0700
From: Hurley Braden <hurley@emf.net>
Subject: [CH] A great new all purpose condiment
Alright, I have been perusing the list over the past couple of
days. (I had a couple of servers blow up on me, so I have been
perusing at night as well) And, I believe that I have come up
with the all purpose recipe :
Hurley's GooAll
.5 gallon Poi
2 medium blocks Tofu
12 bottles Beer (Red Hook, or the like)
1 small banger
1 tsp Really crappy English mustard
(any brand of English mustard will do)
2 small tins Spam
2 cup Habaneros
Spackle to taste
First, drink 10 bottles of beer, saving the empty bottles.
Mash Habs with the heel of your hand then fry them up, while
making sure that you are in a poorly ventilated cooking area.
Then take the Habs and boil them in 2 Quarts of water.
Touch eyes frequently. Cut tofu into small cubes and mix
together with the poi. Cut the Spam in thin slices and fry
them up. Take the leftover Spam juice and add to Hab. stock.
Mix the Poi-Tofu mixture together with the spam and add to the
Hab stock. Cook up the banger, add the crappy English mustard.
Eat the banger while drinking the 11th beer. Take the 12th beer
spill some for the CH'ers and add the rest to the pot.
Spackle to taste, and take off the burner. Place empty bottles
at every corner of your house. Blend the mixture until it is creamy
smooth. Then use as garnish, dip, sauce, or purple paint.
As a food item it isn't that great, although it does have a certain
appeal. However, as a paint it is great! It will prevent barnacles
from growing on your walls, destroy snails, give cockroaches mental
illness, and keep away moles. Lastly, if you paint pictures of Barney,
you can tell your children that each time they sing that $#@*&%* song
that they have to lick the Barney.
Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you make this. I tried to make it,
but
I drank all the beer before I could get started.
<<one tiny snip here for mankind, just to remove an unrelated part of the
message>>
Hurley (Master Chef, but only a Journeyman Baiter)