[CH] Giving mom hell...
George Starkey (r2b9@earthlink.net)
Mon, 16 Oct 2000 00:15:25 -0500
So, there I was, in the kitchen, mincing habs for mash in the ol'
Cuisinart. I was lopping the stems off, making a nice pile on the
cutting board. My mom pokes her head in the door, asking what I was
cooking on the grill. I told her that I was smoking jalapenos. She said
something about thinking I'd been smoking something funny... Anyway, she
(the woman who calls ketchup spicy)grabs a habanero slice offa my
cutting board and about puts it in her mouth. I instantly have visions
of her pacemaker exploding (she's 3 weeks shy of 80 years old) and I
grab her arm. "Are you daft, woman?!" I ask her...she looks at me, all
innocent-like, and says to me, "Oh, I thought these were the mild ones
you were talking about." Always the one to seize the comedic moment, I
tell her to put her finger to her tongue. Taste to fire lapsed time: .8
seconds! She looks at me and says, "THAT'S NOT FUN! What do I put that
out with!?"
Feeling remorseful (holding back tears of laughter), I hand her a couple
cubes of Monterey Jack and some bread. In less than a minute she's
recovered. She blew her nose a couple of times, and I told her that was
from the chile also.
She is now thoroughly convinced that I am a member of an insane league
of masochists. No ma'am, just a Chile-Head. Praise the Lord and pass
the chiles!
---George
Smoking jalapenos is not a crime