[CH] OT - Southern Zodiac
Alex Silbajoris (asilbajo@hotmail.com)
Thu, 13 Jun 2002 14:34:48 +0000
This is out there in several forms. I'm a butter bean.
THE SOUTHERN ZODIAC
Dec. 22-Jan. 20 OKRA
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras
have tremendous influence on our movements. Able to function equally well in
a pickle or a stew, okras are versatile. You are at home as the uncommon
hors d'oeuvre on the party platter of life or they can get down with the
meat and potatoes into the bowls of the matter. An older okra can look back
on his/her life and see the seeds of his/her influence everywhere. Stay away
from Moon Pies.
Jan. 21-Feb. 19 HUSH PUPPIES
Hush puppies have a no-frills, just-the-basics approach to life which can
make you seem introverted. In fact you often are uncomfortable talking about
their common origins. A hush puppy can, however, be quite comfortable with
others when properly motivated and seasoned. When dealing with hush puppies,
be very careful--they can burn you while they are hot! In relationships, you
get along best with catfish okra, grits and crawfish.
Feb. 20-Mar. 20 CHIGGERS
Chiggers have an uncommon curiosity and the natural ability to dig beneath
the surface. To you, beauty is more than skin deep. You are intense and
driven, as if you had some inner hunger. This often aids you in uncovering
sensitivities in others. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you,
so don't worry about it. You'll get under their skin just the same.
Mar. 21-Apr. 20 MOON PIE
You're most comfortable on the chair or swing on the front porch. Moon Pies
are recognizable from their physical appearance. "Big" and "round" are the
key words here, and they always have a soft center under that hard outer
layer. You can be more colorful than others give you credit for. You should
marry anyone you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to
be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Then again...
Apr. 21-May 21 OPPOSSUM
When confronted with life's difficulties, you have the ability to withdraw
and develop a "don't bother me" attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn
people think you are dead. This strategy would not be pyschologically
healthy for everyone, but it seems to work for you. One day, however, it
won't work, and you may find your problems actually running you over. In
relationships you are limited...see Aramdillo.
May 22-Jun. 21 CRAWFISH
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging
around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the
pool to the golf course, the spa to the living room. You tend not to be
particularly attractive physically, but you have a very good head (though
you are not a deep thinker). You love to party, but often leave feeling as
if the life has been sucked out of you. You get along best with other
crawfish, catfish, hush puppies, okra, and collards.
Jun. 22-Jul. 23 COLLARDS
Collards have a genius for communication. You love to get in the "melting
pot" of life and share your essences with others around you. You make good
social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. You are the staple,
but you need the spices that others bring. In relationships, avoid Moon
Pies.
Jul. 24-Aug. 23 CATFISH
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, but your wild hairs, or
"whiskers", may cause problems for loved ones. Catfish are very deep--you
prefer a muddy bottom to the clear surface of life. While some may think of
you as a bottom feeder, this does not concern you--you know that someone has
to do the dirty work! You are an adaptable survivor, equally comfortable in
a pond, a stream, or the open water. Your thick skin allows you to shed most
insults but--beware!--you can toss a barb or too.
Aug. 24-Sep. 23 GRITS
Very social yet xenophobic, your greatest desire is to be with others like
yourself. You prefer to huddle in the company of a big crowd of other grits.
You love to travel though, so you might consider joining a club. Where do
you like to go? Any place where they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter
or eggs. If you can find all these things in one spot, you'll live in
perfect hominy.
Sep. 24-Oct. 23 BOILED PEANUTS
Though you have a passionate desire to help your fellow man, those close to
you may find your personality a bit too "salty." Their criticsm may hurt you
deeply, as you are much softer than others in your family. You can marry
anyone you like, because yours is a charmed existence--on the road of life,
you can be sure that someone will always pull over and stop for you.
Oct. 24-Nov. 22 BUTTER BEANS
Great at a party, you get along well with everybody. You should be proud.
You've matured on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the
setting. While you are naturally gregarious, you can be a stinker, so be
careful--you have the power to cause others to respond with a "gut feeling".
If there is something in the air, they will think you probably caused it.
Nov. 23-Dec. 21 ARMADILLO
You have a tough exterior but are really quite gentle, even soft, on the
inside, which may be why you often feel run over. A good evening for you
involves the basics--a warm fire, some friends, fruit, and grub. You are
"retro", unconcerned with trends and fashions. You're not about today--you
are"retro", a walking fossil, almost prehistoric in appearance and behavior.
You would get along best with another armadillo, but opposum is another
(slightly kinky) mating possibility.
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