Re: [CH] Dismal Fair...
Calvin Donaghey (gdonaghey@bitstreet.com)
Tue, 27 Jul 1999 19:44:16 -0500
Carp-
Sounds like your judge is related to our County Extension Agent, (Remember
Green Acres???) who, when shown a strange black and orange plant eating bug,
said, after much tipping of the jar back and forth, in significant
finality.... "Must be one 'o them hard-shell beetles-- hit 'em with Malathion
er Diazenol (sic)." The young buzzard that appears occasionally on old Bugs
Bunny cartoons comes to mind.
Calvin
danceswithcarp wrote:
> Man, we wuz had at the local county fair. We put in some really pretty
> peppers of about 15 differing stripes and only got about 7 or 8 blue
> ribbons. No one got Grand Champ, but I'm still honked off. We picked
> peppers the morning of the entry and spent two hours going through the
> pickings getting three of everykind that were almost identical so we would
> be showing consistency.
>
> Naw....the judge had other idears. He gave blues to standard jalapenos of
> all ilk--which we didn't enter because they are, um, passe--and gave us a
> RED for some of the biggest and most beautiful cowhorn cayennes you've
> ever seen. He also gave us RED for two sets of bigger-than-golfballs
> Caribbean Red Habeneros that were mid-way ripened and were as shiny and as
> colorful as any other exhibit in the entire building, and then he gave
> someone else a blue for three itty-bitty orange habs with slick sides. We
> had those big wrinkled Reds and both entries were three almost identically
> wrinkled peppers. You couldn't have found more identical wrinkled peppers
> if you'd looked all day.
>
> I doubt the guy had ever seen anything like we were entering, so he
> panicked and gave us reds rather than admit he didn't know diddly about
> the product. We entered three identical, pale, almost transluscent,
> mexibells as big as standard bells, labeled them as hot, and got a RED.
> Then we entered three less-than-standard green bells and got a blue.
>
> Meanwhile, chile-woman never gets asked to judge.
>
> WE WANT CHILE-WOMAN; WE WANT CHILE-WOMAN; WE WANT SUE...
>
> carp