[CH] Rubbed the Wrong Way

McWilliams, Dan (DMcWilliams@fendall.com)
Fri, 15 Oct 1999 08:06:05 -0500 

	After reading the recent post about the poor Hispanic person that
had his pod pepperized by his jilted significant other I cringed a bit
because I can relate. I had an similar experience that I don't usually tell
about although my wife gets a big kick out of telling people. Its a little
embarrassing but I figure this is the place to do it because, after the
reactions to the pepper spray story, I just know someone is going to say
"Gee, I wish that had happened to me". 
	I have a bad back and will occasionally use double strength capsicum
ointment to relieve the pain. Last spring I also happen to have a bit of
jock itch and had been using fungus creme to get rid of it. I always buy the
generic Equate brands of both the hot pepper ointment and fungus creme. So
at the end of last April I took a job working out of town. As I was getting
ready to go down to the hotel room the afternoon before I started work I
packed up the stuff I'd need. I gathered up my Sudefed, Motrin, Tums, the
fungus creme and as I was rummaging through the medicine cabinet I ran
across the hot pepper ointment and sorta off handedly threw it in the travel
bag in case I needed it.
	I checked in to the hotel where I was staying, unpacked, putting the
bag with the toiletries on the bathroom sink. I decided that I'd take a
shower, get some dinner and relax. I got out of the shower, dried off and
decided to put on some fungus creme. I picked up the tube out of the bag,
squirted out a generous amount and rubbed it in. When I was about finished I
just happened to glance down at the bag on the sink and, to my horror, there
sat the tube of fungus creme. That moment of realization that you screwed
up, before the trouble start,  really causes your heart to sink. Yes, I had
picked up the tube of double strength hot pepper creme and spread it all
over my nether regions. The tubes were in almost identical shape, they were
the small color and damn hard to tell apart. Well the burn began and I ran
in and called my wife. Between huffing and puffing and trying to catch a
breath I told her what had happened. She burst out laughing and suggested
peanut butter(?) and 911. I took several loooong, cooold showers that night
and eventually the burn stopped but its not something I'll forget soon and,
as much as I love peppers, its not something I care to repeat.