[CH] Chile Humor...see, it's on-topic...by a thread (punny boy):
VoodooChile (rael@ebicom.net)
Tue, 07 Jul 1998 12:42:11 -0500
Twas Writ:
>You have made me a Priestess, Rael, do you not remember? Aaaahhh, happy
was I
>to reach that level of CHness.
Actually - and not to burst your bubble of joy, but to let all chileheads
know that yes, they too can gain a Chilehead Title - anyone can gain a
title by journeying to the TCS website which, btw, is at:
http://www.io.com/~m101/tcs/
Nonetheless, as a full-fledged Monk of the TCS, Order of Immaculate
Twister, Keeper of the Faith (and a Towel...), and thus, an Enlightened One
who studies the Books of El Grande religiously...I feel I am quite
qualified to ascertain whether a Nubile Chile Maiden (NCM) has the mettle
required to be a titled NCM, and in this case, take a personal, more
intimate interest in a NCM. Furthermore, as a fairly long-term member of
the TCS, I believe I am one of an Enlightened Few who can guarantee that if
you endure Enlightenment Training (ET) under my delicate wings of
mentorship and dive into the intense spiritual training required to become
One with El Grande, openly welcome the message of El Grande to invade every
inch of your mind, willingly submit to the intense and sometimes painfully
joyful touch of Monk Rael as he guides you towards the bright, red-hot
light of Enlightenment, indeed you shall emerge full of reverence for and
understanding of All Things Chile, relatively unscathed, and yes, able to
claim indisputable titleship in the TCS. At the very least, one would find
that Twister takes on a whole new role in life and that salsa is a
multi-purpose substance, i.e. is a Heavenly Substance.
Additionally, as a mate of soul and flesh of Monk Rael and aside from your
receiving the very best training, as my luv nugget and me as your whipping
boy, you would see Monk Rael prostrate himself at your feet at times I am
wont to do so...something not every girl gets to see, try as I might
without being incarcerated...
>Darlin', masochistic one, imagine how much pain we could cause each other in
>our special marriage! Trust me, LIVING WITH ME WOULD CAUSE A LOT OF PAIN!!
This indeed is a bonus...I shudder with anticipation (and wonder where my
favorite restraints are...)...
>Now, honey chile master, imagine us engaged in Twister with your very
favorite
>salsa smeared heavily upon us. I must catch my breath, hot as I hab eber
The *only* way for intimate individuals to play Twister, IMO (although
close friends have been known to indulge in such chile-play)...and if I
feel benevolent, I may share the some video of our Twister Trysts with
other Chileheads in hopes of spreading the message of El Grande's Luv as
well as help my stocks in the salsa market...
>look like Shirley Booth as Hazel!!! In victory, I will swallow a jar of my
>SPECIAL SALSA, the jar with 25% more added, just to complete the torment and
>top it all off with a lighted sparkler under each arm!!!!
If you can sing like Marlene Dietrich while you do that, I'm yours,
baby...and you can leave your hat on...
>Write soon, my love. Your little GODZILLA awaits you! As you are attracted
>to Xena, so am I attracted to the ORIGINAL GODZILLA!!! But, your
Chileness, I
>love YOU MORE!!!
This is good as I have been more than once equated with Godzilla...a
minature version, mind you, and my scream isn't quite as high pitched, but
there is fire in my soul, quite vicious morning halitosis, and a face that
indeed can send children and small pets running. I do not step on Bambi or
her relatives at a whim, I should add...
And I too luv you, snookums...
>Write soon, BUT SEND MY ENGAGEMENT RING NOW! Size 8-10 will do, depending on
>how much you spend, my love.
Do you prefer the precious metal Reynolds Wrap or will the CrackerJack
Surprise suffice? Depending on the depth of your love and devotion, the
fire and ice of your heart, and the amount of salsa I can pool in your
naval region without spillage, I may be prodded =8^o into purchasing a ring
complete with a shiny, brand new CZ diamond. I think stainless steel is
the preferred metal for this type of ring...maybe two rings if you believe
a dual piercing would titillate you more...
>I cannot catch my breath again. I need to rub my flesh with a variety of
>chiles. Burn, Burn me. MMMMMMMMMMM
Indeed, indeed...burn, baby, burn...but until the vows are spoken, you'll
have to make do with the mental image of a long-haired, goateed, redneck
wearing a ristra and salsa body paint, jungle boots only, dancing the El
Grande Twist to the tunes of Jimi's Voodoo Chile...slight return...baby...
My cup most definitely runneth over
[aside] ...put yer hip boots on people...and blessings of El Grande who
endure this, uh, operatic intercourse...it too shall pass as do all good
things...or just do da delete, bitte...
Peace, Hendrix, and Chiles.......
Rael"...it's days like this that I look at Rael and ask, "where the hell
did you come from?"..."64
rael@ebicom.net
Redneck Sous Chef
Monk of the TCS
Order of Immaculate Twister
Keeper of the Faith
and a Towel...