Re: [CH] Re: Mastodon Surprise (was: some like it hot)

Calvin Donaghey (gdonaghey@bitstreet.com)
Sun, 19 Jul 1998 19:42:55 -0500 

JBF-
Now THAT is truly a knuckle-drag recipe.  Makes me want to sit in a cave and thump my
chest for a couple of days while the pit works a magical transformation on the
prehistoric buffet.  I think I gained 15 pounds and grew 4" of hair on my shoulders
just reading it.  Thinking of raiding the zoo and substituting, back hoe is on
will-call.  I'll save some ribs for you.
Calvin

John Benz Fentner, Jr. wrote:

> DrBobJ2@aol.com wrote:
> (SNIP)
> they taught their
>  offspring and others "This is how to cook a mastadon"
> > I guess this means that us CHs will live longer and produce more offspring.
> > Who's got a good recipie for spiced up mastadon?
> (SNIP)
> Spiced Mastodon Surprise
>
> Mastodon (Mammuthus Primigenius preferred) (1)
> Camelopardus  (1)
> Pteranodon (1)
> Archeoptyrix  (6)
> Passenger Pigeon (6)
> Squid (Giant) (1)
> Garlic (1 ton)
> Oregano (1 acre)
> Black pepper (Ground,  55 Gal Drum)
> Ground Chiles (1 pickup truck minimum)
> Red wine (1 vat)
> Habanero Peppers (6)
> Pearl Onions  (6)
> Bay Leaf  (1)
> Red potatoes (1 dumpster)
> Salt to taste
>
> Remove meats from permafrost and thaw at room temperature for two weeks. Remove
> internal organs, fur, tusks, claws, beaks, feathers, half digested Neadethals
> etc. (Reserve for stock). Rub with ground chiles, garlic and black pepper and
> marinate in wine for 72 hours (swimming pool is best but all chlorine shoud be
> removed). Add Bay Leaf for last hour.
>
> With a clean backhoe, dig a barbecue pit approximately 10' X 15' and 10' deep.
> Line with seasoned apple wood (5'), ignite and reduce to bed of coals (2'). Cover
> with 2' of seaweed or ferns.
>
> Rub body cavity of each Pigeon with ground chiles and black pepper and insert 1
> habanero pepper and 1 onion in each Pigeon. Repeat rub with each Archeoptyrix and
> insert Pigeon in cavity of each. Stuff Pteranodon with prepared fowls. Stuff
> Cameloardus with Pteranodon. Stuff Mastodon with Camelopardus (optional:  1 snow
> shovel full of Calvin's Powder may be added at this point).
>
> Place prepared Mastodon, potatoes and Giant Squid in barbecue pit and cover with
> 2' of seaweed or ferns. Cover with 2' of sand and bake for 2 days (for medium
> rare).
>
> Serve with green salad, a nice Merlot and freshly baked bread.
>
> Serves one small nation (North of 40 degrees latitude), one small city (South of
> 40 degrees latitude) or six ChileHeads (Boston). Recipe not available in Southern
> Hemisphere (but see Chapter 6 for Kangaroo Fondue).
>
> JB
> Thanks to the sites of the Paleo Ring (http://www.pitt.edu/~mattf/PaleoRing.html)
> for their assistance with this recipe.
> --
> *********************************
> John Benz Fentner, Jr.
> Unionville, Connecticut, USA
> http://www.geocities.com/~jbenz/
> "Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis"
> *********************************