[CH] Fw: The Ant and the Grasshopper
LORRI JOHNSTON (ljnjohnston@email.msn.com)
Wed, 4 Oct 2000 20:03:51 -0400
----- Original Message -----
From: Stacey Reynolds <sreynoldsville@hotmail.com>
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Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 9:53 AM
Subject: Fwd: The Ant and the Grasshopper
>
>
>
> >From: "William L. Reynolds" <br@greenvillenc.com>
> >To: "Abbott, Robert" <babbott@greenvillenc.com>
> >Subject: The Ant and the Grasshopper
> >Date: Tue, 03 Oct 2000 10:34:19 -0400
> >
> > > THE CLASSIC VERSION -
> > > > >
> > > > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
> > > long,
> > > > > building his house and laying up supplies for the
> > > winter. The
> > > * > Grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays
> >
> > > * the summer away.
> > > * > Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has
> >
> > > * no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
> > > > >
> > > > > THE MODERN VERSION -
> > > > >
> > > > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
> > > long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
> > > Grasshopper thinks he's
> > > a fooland laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
> > > winter, the
> > > > shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
> > > to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
> >others
> > > are cold and
> > > > starving.
> > > >
> > > > CBS, NBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
> > > shivering grasshopper
> > > > next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
> > > table filled
> > > > with food. "America" is stunned by the sharp contrast.
> > > How can this be,
> > > > that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
> > > allowed to
> > > > suffer so?
> > > > >
> > > > Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper,
> > > and everybody
> > > > cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."
> > > > >
> > > > Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance
> > > on the CBS
> > > > Evening News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will
> > > do everything
> > > > they Can for the grasshopper who has been denied the
> > > prosperity he deserves
> > > by Those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan summers,
> > > or as Bill
> > > refers to it as "Temperatures of the 80's."
> > > > >
> > > > > Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the
> > > ant's house where
> > > > > the news stations film the group singing "We shall
> > > overcome". Jesse
> > > then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
> > > grasshopper's sake.
> > > > >
> > > > > Al Gore exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings
> > > that the ant has
> > > > > gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls
> > > for an immediate
> > > > > tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
> > > > >
> > > > > Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and
> > > Anti-Ant Act",
> > > > > retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is
> > > fined for
> > > failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
> > > having nothing left
> > > to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
> > > government.
> > > > >
> > > > Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the
> > > grasshopper in a
> > > > Defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried
> > > before a panel of
> > > > federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of
> > > single-parent welfare
> > > > recipients who can only hear cases on Thursday's between
> > > 1:30 and 3:00
> > > PM when there are no talk shows scheduled. The ant loses the
> > > case.
> > > >
> > > > The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the
> > > last bits of
> > > > The ant's food while the government house he is in, which
> > > just happens
> > > to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he
> > > doesn't maintain it.
> > > > The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which
> > > the
> > > grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they
> > > are showing Bill Clinton
> > > > standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats
> > > announcing that a
> > > > new era of "fairness" has dawned in America. The
> > > grasshopper is found
> > > dead in a drug related incident and the house, now
> > > abandoned, is taken over by a
> > > > gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
> > > neighborhood.
> > > >
> > > > > Remember to Vote
> > > > >
>
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