[CH] "How To Tape A Cat" from the C-H (offline)
Mike Stallcup (Michael.Stallcup@nasa.gov)
Mon, 17 Mar 2003 13:19:54 -0600
Hi C-H'ers,
Since "How To Tape A Cat" has become one of the legendary tales of
the C-H List I thought I'd share it with those who weren't around to
hear it firsthand. No, the on-line archives don't go back that far.
Yes, my personal collection of archives do go back that far. Enjoy!
Mike (C-H #36, hab seed intact)
Carpe Capsicum!
(My words, not NASA's)
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Chile-Heads Digest, Volume 1, #282
Date: Wed, 26 Apr 95 08:54:12 EST
From: gunterman@ccmailpc.ctron.com
Subject: Cats 27 : Humans 0
Okay Folks,
I need a surefire, no fail, guaranteed way of keeping a particular
cat out of my garden.
No cruel hurtful means will be acceptable! _No_ striated fish hooks,
Daisy PumpMaster Air Rifles, etc. (YET) I do _not_ want to make this
a cruelty to animals thread.....
This damn cat has just (last night) _destroyed_ 2 full flats of
pepper plants, except 1 seedling. Only 1 Calai seedling survives
after a month and a half of nurturing under lights in the basement!
All that work and care to be ruined by 1 single cat w/ a bad
attitude I caught it digging the plants out of the flats and before
I could get my "Super Soaker" pumped up it saw me and took off.
This has been a problem for over a month since I took the sod off my
yard and re-seeded it. Ever since then it has taken a crap in my
yard every night and dug little trenches all over the place.
I have tried covering the yard in Cheese Cloth, scattering a full
pound of white pepper around the perimeter of the yard. I even drank
a Gallon of iced tea and spent the next 3 hours "marking my
territory". NOTHING WORKS, and I am getting quite angry and
frustrated. The only thing that marginally worked was the super
soaker but I can't stay up all night watching over my yard
"snipering" for that cat. I need some sleep!
And Yes, I have talked w/ the owner, sent registered letters to them
etc. and they continue to do nothing about it. And all this in a
Condo Assn. where pets are _NOT_ allowed to begin w/. These people
actually pay a 15 dollar "fine" every month to keep it!
Thanks
John (Col. Hogan)
gunterman@ctron.com
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Chile-Heads Digest, Volume 1, #284
Date: Fri, 28 Apr 95 13:18:01 EST
From: gunterman@ccmailpc.ctron.com
Subject: Cat 27 : Human 1 (HUMAN WINS!)
>Take both owner and home owners assoc to small claims court.
normally would be a good suggestion but:
I am on the board of directors of the Condo Assn. So I must be extra
careful of my actions in relation to this issue.
I can't really sue the assn if I am on it could I.. Well maybe I
could..hmmmmm. Anyway,
I think the problem is now solved.
I got a suggestion (off list) that sounded so great I _HAD_ to try
it. It was recommended that I take a few rolls of scotch tape and
take them off the roll and lay it loosely around the yard. So I
stopped on my way home from work last evening and got a few rolls.
This AM I saw the owner of the cat sitting on her front porch in her
nightgown w/ this cat in her lap, covered w/ tape, scissors in hand.
Snip snip snip, peel peel peel, grumble grumble. The cat is one of
them long haired types I think it is called an agora or angora or
something like that.. well now it is called "Butch"!
I was laughing so hard I _almost_ could not wave to her and
cheerfully yell "good morning!" The cat was not hurt at all but it is
a little bald in a few areas.
Col. Hogan
gunterman@ctron.com
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