[CH] "How To Tape A Cat" from the C-H (offline)

Mike Stallcup (Michael.Stallcup@nasa.gov)
Mon, 17 Mar 2003 13:19:54 -0600

Hi C-H'ers,

Since "How To Tape A Cat" has become one of the legendary tales of 
the C-H List I thought I'd share it with those who weren't around to 
hear it firsthand. No, the on-line archives don't go back that far. 
Yes, my personal collection of archives do go back that far.  Enjoy!

Mike  (C-H #36, hab seed intact)
Carpe Capsicum!
(My words, not NASA's)

====----====----====----====----====----====----
Chile-Heads Digest, Volume 1, #282

Date: Wed, 26 Apr 95 08:54:12 EST
From: gunterman@ccmailpc.ctron.com
Subject: Cats 27 : Humans 0

Okay Folks,

I need a surefire, no fail, guaranteed way of keeping a particular 
cat out of my  garden.

No cruel hurtful means will be acceptable! _No_ striated fish hooks, 
Daisy PumpMaster Air Rifles, etc. (YET) I do _not_ want to make this 
a cruelty to  animals thread.....

This damn cat has just (last night) _destroyed_ 2 full flats of 
pepper plants, except 1 seedling. Only 1 Calai seedling survives 
after  a month and a half of  nurturing under lights in the basement! 
All that work and care to be ruined by 1  single cat w/ a bad 
attitude I caught it digging the plants out of the flats and  before 
I could get my "Super Soaker" pumped up it saw me and took off.

This has been a problem for over a month since I took the sod off my 
yard and re-seeded it.  Ever since then it has taken a crap in my 
yard every night and dug little trenches all over the place.

I have tried covering the yard in Cheese Cloth, scattering a full 
pound of white  pepper around the perimeter of the yard. I even drank 
a Gallon of iced tea and  spent the next 3 hours "marking my 
territory". NOTHING WORKS, and I am getting quite angry and 
frustrated. The only thing that marginally worked was the super 
soaker but I can't stay up all night watching  over my yard 
"snipering" for that cat. I need some sleep!

And Yes, I have talked w/ the owner, sent registered letters to them 
etc. and  they continue to do nothing about it.  And all this in a 
Condo Assn. where pets are _NOT_ allowed to begin w/.  These people 
actually pay a 15 dollar "fine" every month to keep it!

Thanks
John (Col. Hogan)
gunterman@ctron.com

====----====----====----====----====----====----

Chile-Heads Digest, Volume 1, #284

Date: Fri, 28 Apr 95 13:18:01 EST
From: gunterman@ccmailpc.ctron.com
Subject: Cat 27 : Human 1 (HUMAN WINS!)

>Take both owner and home owners assoc to small claims court.

normally would be a good suggestion but:

I am on the board of directors of the Condo Assn. So I must be extra 
careful  of my actions in relation to this issue.

I can't really sue the assn if I am on it could I.. Well maybe I 
could..hmmmmm. Anyway,

I think the problem is now solved.

I got a suggestion (off list) that sounded so great I _HAD_ to try 
it. It was recommended that I take a few rolls of scotch tape and 
take them off the  roll and lay it loosely around the yard. So I 
stopped on my way home from work  last evening and got a few rolls.

This AM I saw the owner of the cat sitting on her front porch in her 
nightgown  w/ this cat in her lap, covered w/ tape, scissors in hand. 
Snip snip snip, peel  peel peel, grumble grumble. The cat is one of 
them long haired types I think it  is called an agora or angora or 
something like that.. well now it is called  "Butch"!

I was laughing so hard I _almost_ could not wave to her and 
cheerfully yell "good morning!" The cat was not hurt at all but it is 
a little bald in a few areas.

Col. Hogan
gunterman@ctron.com
====----====----====----====----====----====----