Re: [CH] Faux Chipotle
Rael64 (z42dkm@yahoo.com)
Sun, 1 Jun 2008 12:02:26 -0700 (PDT)
It's a subversion of all that is chipotle. Actually, I think it's more like the big "blackened" fad. Everyone wanted everything blackened - catfish, chicken, beef, pig, dog, pineapple, etc. - except few knew what it really was (and not too damned many knew how to do it, which is what blackening is: a doing, a method, a verb dammit). Ergo, "blackening" seasoning, mix, spice, etc. What the phuck?
So, chipolte, my theory goes, is being subverted similarly. Chipotle seasoning; chipotle spice; smokey chipotle! Uh....right.
Blame it on advertising. Lies and leanings offered with smiles, big tittied wimmen (say it ain't true!), and groovy CGI, all designed to coerce, er, no, INFORM and Educate the consumer as to what he/she should desire, no, want, um...no, NEED because, well, no one wants to not stand out (Be an Individual!) in the crowded world by being, doing, consuming as does everyone else (Be an Individual Just Like THEM!). Hence, in the realm of the culinary, what the public needs is chipotle! (but you're all too damned wimpy to eat it, don't really know what it is anyway, so we'll sell you this sheeeeeeeeet, which costs us, like, a penny, and you'll happily consume your fake chipotle flavored full-o-antibotics-and-hormone chickie, and be happy in your World O' Delusion).
So, chipotle = fake smokey smelling shit with some burnt halo-peno floating about.
Yum.
Actually....I think I went on the "damn those heatless chile folks to hell!" rant a couple (or more) years ago and was chastised for suggesting that Freedom of Invention was somehow not a Right and that the Almighty Market always dictates: good stuff sells; shit does not. Well, I knew then that that was horsekaka, for we all (should) know that Monster Corporations control most of the foodways, and when Food Corp, Inc. says to the grocers "sell this crap and move the real food onto lower shelves, far away, or better yet, give us their shelving space," well the grocers shake from the knees down, bow deeply, kiss a little hiney, and lo, Heatless HaloPeno Salsa with Scrumpdillyitious Hothouse No-Flavor Tomatoes and Onions hits the shelves, dominates the shelves, appears on menus, and YOU WILL PHUCKING LIKE IT (because we've done our best to eradicate real food, or at least blame the Chinese for doing what we've done to food, products, etc. for the last
hundred years).
Maybe it was actually my saying something like 'folks "inventing" heatless chiles should be shot and (most) corporations should be burned to the ground' that got me chastised. I fergit.
Whatever. But I feel better now.
Peace, Hendrix, and Chiles.......
Rael"...Monsanto is the Workplace of Satan..."64
--- On Sun, 6/1/08, =Mark <mstevens@exit109.com> wrote:
> From: =Mark <mstevens@exit109.com>
> Subject: [CH] Faux Chipotle
> To: "Mark Ellis" <mark@zymurgia.com>, "Chile Heads" <chile-heads@globalgarden.com>
> Date: Sunday, June 1, 2008, 10:13 AM
> Anybody else notice that in recent years chipotle has become
> a more and more
> popular item? It's showing up in chain restaurants,
> salsas and snacks.
> Problem is, they seem to share one characteristic, a
> complete lack of heat!
> Anyone who has tasted even a small bit of true chipotle
> knows that aside from
> the smoky aspect, that they are pretty darn hot. Even
> after almost 20 years
> as a chilehead, a bit of one of those babies is something
> to make me sit up
> and take notice.
>
> <RANT>
> It seems that invariably the alleged "Chipotle"
> spiced products have no
> noticeable heat, and might have well been made using liquid
> smoke.
>
> In a double affront to Chilehead sensibilities, the Chain
> restaurant "Chiles,"
> which uses a chile pepper as a logo (Always wanted them
> prosecuted for
> misleading advertising, none of their food is hot...)
> offers chipotle chicken
> and a chipotle burger. You guessed it, none of it is
> spicy. :-(
>
> I guess it's just a follow up to the Texas A&M
> development of the heatless TAM
> jalepeno that they introduced a dozen or so years ago
> (Which, by the way,
> cross pollinates very easily. Anyone note that finding
> actual hot jalepenos
> in the supermarket in recent years is a hit or miss
> affair?), or the current
> corporate search for a heatless habanero!
> </RANT>
>
> I wonder if there is a market for the alcohol free vodka
> that comes out of my
> fawcet?