[CH] Hot Sauce Blog.... Spanky's

Linda Panter (lipant@sympatico.ca)
Mon, 25 Jul 2005 11:02:38 -0400

Restaurant Review: Spanky's BBQ
Posted on 05.10.05 by Nick @ 12:58 pm


After hearing rave reviews of Spanky's BBQ, I conviced the wife 
to walk down there and taste test the menu with me. It wasn't 
that far of a trek from our midtown location and on Saturday 
evening most of the tourists are at the theatre anyways. Plus, 
after dieting all week long, both the wife and I were dying for 
some real food.
 Never judge a book by it's cover, right? The outside of Spanky's 
looks inviting, almost too inviting. I would assume it's because 
of the location right near Times Square, but I tend to avoid 
places that look like a tourist trap. Any BBQ place that I've 
ever been to has always been smoke ridden and the buildings look 
like they are about to fall over, but I won't hold that against 
Spanky's.

The interior of Spanky's got me excited. They have one wall that 
it literally covered with gallon jugs of Tabasco. The pillars are 
circled with hot sauce as you can see. While we were waiting for 
a table, I picked up the specials menu and discovered "Spanky's 
Challenge" - It was an appetizer menu consisting of fiery foods. 
I almost had the wife convinced enough to try the Rocky Mountain 
Oysters, until she wised up and asked the hostess what they were. 
Then I got slapped. Business as usual  But one item on the 
special challenge menu did catch my eye for good, the Caliente 
Lager. Since Spanky's is a branch of Heartland Brewery, they took 
a Heartland Brew and paired it with Smack My Ass and Call Me 
Sally Hot Sauce. This surprised the hell out of me since the heat 
rating of Smack My Ass is over 700,000 Scoville Units. People 
have to agree to a disclaimer before buying anything over 100,000 
from us.
So we were seated in the basement, which was a little to dark to 
take any pictures, but trust me it was nice and cozy down there. 
The waitress was prompt and friendly and the wife and I ordered 
the Fried Green Tomatoes to start with and my Caliente Lager. The 
beer arrived first, in a tall frosty mug. But instead of a frothy 
head, I could see specks of red death floating around in it. Now, 
it's important to note that the waitress did not warn me of the 
heat level of this demon brew, nor was a warning available on the 
menu. That surprised the hell out of me, just because of the 
sheer heat value of the sauce.
First sip was fine, no burning so of course I had the wife take a 
sip. She was fine for about 2 seconds until her lips started 
burning like wildfire. Mine started burning not much longer after 
hers did. You see, when drinking out of a mug, you must touch 
your lips to the brew. Now with a sauce as hot as Smack My Ass, 
you don't want it to touch any sensitive parts. I drank another 
sip and prayed for the Fried Green Tomatoes to arrive as quickly 
as possible, before my lips fell off (And I hate Tomatoes). By 
the time the appetizer arrived, I had only drank down about an 
inch of the Caliente Lager.
The Fried Green Tomatoes were delicious, even to me. They were a 
first for both the wife and me, so Spanky's may have set the bar 
pretty high. The fried green tomatoes were topped with a Jack 
Daniels Cream Sauce and small pieces of chicken. Now, after 
eating the appetizer and taking another sip, I concluded that I 
was as high as a kite. Not because of any illegal drugs, but 
because of the heat in the beer. We're all familiar with the 
euphoric feeling that's occurs after eating something extremely 
hot, but I've never experienced it quite like this. It must have 
been because I could no longer feel anything but my lips slowly 
burning off my face.
By the time my food arrived, I was still only 1/2 way through the 
Caliente Lager. It this point I declared the brew my Everest and 
took another swig. Since I'm on a diet 6 days a week, I splurged 
and ordered the "Full House Place" & the wife went for the Smoked 
Pork Loin.

The Full House
1/4 chicken, 3 pork ribs, sliced brisket and pulled pork with 
choice of 2 sides
$19.50

Smoked Maple Cured Pork Loin
with mango BBQ sauce and candied sweet potatoes
$15.95

For my two sides I went for the Cheesy Grits & Sweet Potatoes. My 
plate arrived and it was a monstrous mound of meat. The sides 
were delicious and I dug into the Cheesy Grits right away, trying 
to salvage what was left of the feeling in my lips. I went after 
the pulled pork first, since it required the least amount of work 
to eat. It was a little dry, but the pork was tender with a nice 
flavor. The brisket had an excellent smoke ring as did the ribs. 
Both were delicious. Now 1/2 way through the meal I decided it 
was time to finish the beer.
It's important to note that since the beer had been sitting for 
quite some time (it never takes me over 45 minutes to finish one 
beer) all the hot sauce had begun settling to the bottom of the 
mug. Half a beer is normally not a problem to chug, but try doing 
it without letting your lips touch the brew. That was me, trying 
my hardest to keep my lips away from the liquid death and still 
manage to get it down. Now the final sip contained the most 
amount of hot sauce and almost made me lose my dinner. I had to 
stop eating and concentrate on keeping the brew down for a few 
minutes before I could continue the dinner. But thankfully I kept 
everything down and found the meal to be most enjoyable.
The wife asked the waitress how many people had ever finished the 
Caliente Lager and the waitress didn't know. Apparently they had 
just started the Spanky's Challenge and I was the first person 
she had served the brew to.
Would I go back to Spanky's? Hell yes.
Would I order the Caliente Lager again? Hell no. Smack My Ass & 
Call Me Sally is an extremely hot hot sauce and it really messed 
with the flavor of the beer. I would suggest that Spanky's 
replace the Smack My Ass with something like Pure Cap or a Blair's 
Reserve so that the flavor of the beer is not compromised. And 
they should also warn people before they order it. And a straw to 
drink it with wouldn't hurt either.
Don't just take my word for it, check out the WhiteTrash BBQ Blog 
Review of Spanky's as well.

Spanky's BBQ
127 West 43rd Street
New York, NY 10036
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Linda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me - I want 
people to know WHY I look this way: I've traveled a long way and 
some of the roads weren't paved.